I have been cleaning our house consistently for the past few days. In the past, I would have put it off until either I get someone to help me (usually my twin brother), or if I really need to clean (dust tumbleweeds are my cue). Surprisingly though, I now feel like I have to clean, fix, or even just think of home improvements. Is this how dads feel like, every single day? I certainly remember my dad fixing a lot of our stuff at home, from the easy to fix broken toys to the more complicated electrical wires. He’s really a jack of all trades. I still have a long way to go.
I am not sure whether to create a new page, or create an entirely new blog/journal for my planned story/experience compilation. I was thinking of putting all life-lesson related stories of mine in a single page/address for my son to read in the future. I already have a few topics at hand, but I just need to actually write the darn things!
I also had to create a new Facebook account, when I realized the importance of networking. I have met a few people in and out of the industry, and I was thinking, if I ever plan on moving to another company or a whole, ‘nother job, I will need to have a few people to contact quickly. Unfortunately, one of the quickest ways to contact people is through social media, including one of the things I loathed for a variety of reasons, Facebook. My contemporaries and superiors, both locally and overseas, gravitate toward the social medium, and is more than comfortable chatting there with work related stuff. After a few weeks, I felt curious about my high school and college classmates and batch mates. The curiosity went almost over my limit as I fought the urge to “add” them in Facebook. Luckily, my common sense was able to win over my curiosity. I did not want to have to move away from Facebook again, remembering my reason. I don’t want it to be a messy, narcissistic tool again.
Alphaeus Mikhail, that’s my son’s name. He was born last May 16, exactly 13 days to date, but it feels longer (in a positive way). With that being said, I already recognized and observed some of his habits, that may or may not be helpful to me and my wife, but it still gives me something to smile about.
The first observation is not really Alpha’s doing, but this is most of the reaction that we get whenever we tell someone his name. People most often say: “Your kid is going to have a hard time spelling his name, trust me.” This just irks me to no end, because they’re already thinking that my son is going to have difficulty spelling out his name. His. Own. Name. I admit, it will be a little longer, compared to people who only have one name, composed of three letters, but he will eventually get the hang of it.
The song Incompleteby Sisqohelps him sleep. My wife has been listening to her playlist, which includes the song, while she was pregnant, so that may have helped. It is one of our favorite songs too (or our theme song, for the cheesy).
He is now getting used to the neighborhood noise. We were worried that he will have difficulty sleeping when he got to our home, but he got used to it quickly.
He likes our microfiber polyester blanket. Our room air-conditioner is turned on almost the whole day because of the hellish weather, and he can get cold. If we turn the ac off, he then feels too uncomfortable. So we tried out one of our blankets, and he liked it. He does this little jig whenever he gets cold where he moves both his legs, looking like he is trying to remove his diapers. That’s when I know he’s getting too cold.
These are a few things that I have noticed. Right now, I’m feeling more parent-y every day. There are just a few more things I need to sort out and change in my usual routine to fully adjust to our bundle of joy. I also have to go back to the office after one more week, and I am already dreading it. I want to stay at home for a few more days, or even years, but I have to earn for my family.
It took me a while before I was able to start this post. I may have been thinking too much, or trying too hard to make this special. I guess, just like everything else, I have to be average. I wanted to make this post as heart-warming as the posts I have read from first time dads with their expert word skills. I am not one of them, and I have to be reminded of this every day.
In this case, I’ll just say it like it is; my son is home, and so our journey begins.
He was born May 16, via the Emergency Caesarian operation since he pooped too early and he unfortunately ingested some of it. He was 6 pounds, although I’m pretty sure her mom will say he felt heavier.
Welcome to the world, Alpha.
On a side note, I am now looking into adding another job, a part time job, as soon as I can. I am working for his future now, so a singular job does not cut it.
I feel terrible. I feel like I have lost one of my few assets at work, which is my patience with older people. I have two older trainees in my current class, my first class after a few months of being stagnant. They failed to meet the targets of their previous program, and now they have been transferred to my program. They had their mini-assessment earlier, where they will need to apply what they learned during our discussions, practices and observations. It’s a bit like a “show me what you’ve learned” type of thing. Take note that we are handling back-office support. We take care of requests in the back-end with no real interaction with anyone.
They failed miserably. I got a bit frustrated while they were doing the mini-assessment. One, because they were not performing as expected; and two, because I felt like I failed them too. I want to blame it to the recent string of holidays, because they had a 5-day rest and maybe they forgot their tasks. It’s understandable, for sure, since they have just been attending training for a week. But still, I was surprised that I even felt frustrated. I have not felt or seen myself run out of patience, until last night. I’m hoping it’s just one of those days.
On a not-so-related note, I have just started a new workout program, called the German Volume Training. I liked this program because it’s a short program, one I can finish in an hour, and according to what I’ve read, I can get a lot of results if I follow it to a T. It’s more of a challenge now, though. My wife’s about to give birth, but since the program is fast paced, I will squeeze it in our schedule. I also need patience for this, and I hope I don’t run out of it again like last night.
I’m thinking of recording my progress using pictures, weight tracks, and all that jazz. I don’t want to post anything online until I notice any huge changes. I’ve tried keeping track of my “progress” before, and I ended up disappointed. Let’s wait and see.
The holidays-weekend combination has somewhat tickled my interest in everything again. I wanted to go back to trying to write, trying to draw, and hitting the weights. Everything was planned in advance. Since almost all businesses, including the gym, will be closed during the Holy Week, I will wait it out and start Easter Sunday.
Easter morning comes, and I wake up early. With no alarms, even. I log on to the internet, and look for a program that is feasible, and not something that will kill me. I found the German Volume Training and liked it because it looked something I will be able to do even after my usual 11+ hours in the office without trying to wake up the night after feeling like sh*t. I jotted down everything I needed, prepared my gym stuff, ate a hearty breakfast and prepared for a good work out. I hummed Roy Jones Jr.’s song in my head (Can’t be Touched).
A few minutes after, I find out that the gym was still closed.
I am currently in a rut. I find myself doing the same things over and over and over again. I sleep, go to work, go back home, and sleep. Sometimes, I find myself writing a bit (just like, obviously, this post) but I don’t find my posts as engaging, interesting or even remotely read-able. i just feel like I have to type/write something so my blog will not go to the internet-waste land.
I have not been able to do what I wanted to do the past months. I maybe using my wife’s pregnancy as an excuse again. I have to start getting active, just like before. I have to start the cycle again.
I don’t know if I can do it, but I am planning on analyzing my daily schedule and see where I will be able to fit activities aside from eating/sleeping/working. This may mean I will not get my usual 8 hours of sleep, or maybe spending a little more (for example: a Gold’s Gym membership, which is a literally just a few steps away from the office. That way, I will not have an excuse to not to go to the gym).
I know I promised to write at least once per day, but I haven’t followed through. I’ll try harder this time, and make sure it works out. I also read a few things about discipline; that is, having a routine helps. This will be a challenge for me, as my work schedule is erratic, but I am hoping I’ll figure this out.
My wife is due to give birth anytime soon, and I don’t want to be a bad example for my first born. I want him to see that I am doing my best to have a good work-life balance. But I will have to start now, start the cycle and not break it again.
I accompanied my wife to her OB a few days ago and earlier today. These are a few of my tasks as her ever supportive husband. I just did not know it then, but these trips somehow evoke a lot of emotions out of me.
We went to Makati Medical Center (pictured below) to undergo a 3D ultrasound. If you’re not familiar with the hospital, it is a swanky hospital where you are doomed to spend money the minute you step in.
The place was almost like a mall, only with more sick people. It’s been a while since I stepped in a hospital, and the hospitals that I’ve been in were all smaller, and more “regular” (read: what hospitals in the movies look like). There was a gift shop, a few fast food restaurants, and a convenience store. I almost forgot that we were supposed to go to the Ultrasound area. I thought we were going to shop.
The sight of doctors who look and walk like they own the place reminded me of why we were there. Looking at these doctors, I thought they wouldn’t touch me if they knew how much I make. They’ll probably tell me that they don’t help middle class folks or something, regardless of our HMO card. I wonder if the direction of their noses has a rationale too. All of their noses looked like it was pointing in one direction: towards the ceiling.
You might say that they’re entitled to it, because they spent years in yada-yada-yada… I didn’t say they weren’t entitled to it, I was just describing them. Hell, even a former classmate who works here as a nurse, was (and maybe still is) an “entitled” rich kid.
Thankfully, my wife’s OB was nice. It took my wife a few laps around the area, a can of coke and a bar of Kit-Kat (all conveniently bought inside the hospital premises) to finally see my son’s face. Plus, it “only” cost us Php3,900. I guess if my wallet had been on a diet, this day was its cheat day. I was not able to bid my money a proper goodbye, before I had to hand it to the cashier. I hope they forgive me.
I also heard two seemingly affluent folks talk about us when we passed by. They were talking rather loudly about their rich-folk escapades, when my wife and I walked by.They stopped talking for a bit, and tried whispering that we look to young to be parents. We still heard them, and I felt good. Imagine, we were able to catch the attention of two, rich people! Maybe I should have asked for financial assistance too, come to think of it.
The next visit was earlier today, this time in another building. I believe it was Medical Plaza. I am just not sure, and Google failed to come up with pictures that looked familiar. This time, it was inside a building with what looked like condominium units converted into business rooms, and medical clinics. There were more people than usual waiting in the lobby. Most of them were dads and their kids. What do you know? Just when I thought I was safe, my overly insecure but observant self started doing what it is known to do very well, compare myself to other people.
These dads look like they got there either by a yacht, or a sports car. They were all sporting just a little frown, accented by the crease in their forehead, where their eyebrows meet. The look of a very busy man. There was a pediatrician’s clinic there, so they might be going for a vaccine or something. There were a whole lot of them there, lots of kids with bright, financially stable futures.
They’re tall too. Big-ass kids with big-ass dads. My wife and I looked more like kids compared to them.
I started thinking, will my son ever grow past the 5’3″ curse of mine? Will they be bullied by tall-ass kids? Will I be able to whoop the dads of these big-ass bullies, considering they are big-ass dads too? Is the answer to my questions an obvious “no”, except this question?
I hope I don’t accidentally teach my son to be a brooding, pessimistic, overly gloomy, despondent, vertically and financially challenged guy like myself. Or maybe the Philippines teaches 90% of its population to be all of those, so he has no choice.
God damn, I’m sorry, Alpha. I failed you genetically and geographically. I’m hoping not financially, but we’ll see.